Shocked?

Are you surprised!? I'm back!
I've not blogged here in a very long time. Last night I was going through a lot of old things on my laptop, ad I came across a conversation with an old friend. It not only brought back a lot of memories from last summer, but reminded me of this blog I started. so this morning, I decided I'd share a few feelings with you all.
The conversation was with someone who I met last summer through a mutual friend. The night before that friend's party, we met. We were talking on MSN until about 5am. At the party, I got totally wasted and made a fool of myself, lets just say.
I guess the night before I felt like he was something special. Because he made me feel like I was something special. So anyway, after the night of the party, we talked, I apologised, he offered me friendship. Now, I was younger, and a lot more foolish, I'd say. I wanted more than that. I didn't really know the bloke. But I guess I was a little bit lonely at the time.
How I behaved was something that given my time again, I'd probably do differently. That in itself really got me thinking about some (well, lots if I'm honest) of the other boy mistakes I've made.
I also stumbled upon a conversation between me and a bloke from a while before that. Despite still denying it, he really screwed me over. But how can I not admit that I let him screw me over? Because reading what I did last night, I handed him my heart, and he broke it. Shall I tell you why? Because he likes a challenge. Guys like a challenge. They fight and fight and fight for you, and as soon as you give in to them, they don't want to any more. That's why he moved on from me. The next girl was someone who I knew, and even though she's a fool, I stopped her from letting him hurt her.
You know, that bloke is someone that I'm not sure I'll ever be over. I don't love him, but the way he was with me was truly beautiful. I've never experienced someone holding me the way he did, or kissing me that way. IT felt like a movie, being with him. That's what I wanted.
But me now, is a different person completely. I'm proud of that. I'm proud of the fact that for the first time in my life, I am really happy to be single. The thing is, I've not found the right person. I don't need to be with Mr. Right just yet, but to be with someone, he has to at least be Mr. (It-Feels-So) Right.
So, the biggest boy mistake of my life, is needing a boy. Right now, for the first time, I don't need one. Ad it makes my life a whole lot easier.
It's time to build bridges...